Control an army of noobs, Robbie Simulator!

Robbie Simulator flips the typical strategy game on its head. You're not commanding elite soldiers—you're herding a bunch of lovable, bumbling noobs who can barely tell left from right. Each battle is a chaotic dance of missteps and lucky breaks, where your ability to anticipate their next blunder is your greatest weapon. The game thrives on its humor, turning every skirmish into a slapstick comedy of errors that keeps you grinning while you try to maintain some semblance of order. Your main challenge is to subtly steer this unruly mob toward the objective without them scattering like startled chickens. Timing is everything; a well-timed command can turn a disastrous charge into a surprising flank, while a moment's hesitation might send your troops tumbling into a trap. As you progress, the battles become more elaborate, testing your ability to adapt on the fly. This is a delightful blend of tactical thinking and absurdist fun, perfect for players who enjoy a good laugh alongside their strategy.

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Control an army of noobs, Robbie Simulator!

Common Core State Standards

Every game supports specific Common Core standards. Browse the full standards library.

K.CC.B.4Count objects accurately MP3Argue with math MP1Make sense of problems MP5Use tools strategically MP7Use structure K.OA.A.3Break numbers apart 2.MD.C.8Money word problems 4.MD.A.2Measurement word problems

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What is Control an army of noobs, Robbie Simulator!

Get ready to babysit an army of enthusiastic but utterly hapless noobs. Robbie needs your help to rally his troops and stumble their way to victory!

How to Play

Use your mouse or touch to issue commands, directing Robbie's noob army across the battlefield. Click on the ground to move your forces, and time your orders to avoid enemy attacks and make the most of your troops' chaotic energy.

Tips for Playing

Group your noobs in small clusters to make them easier to direct.
Study enemy movement patterns before committing your whole army.
Use a single scout noob to trigger traps and reveal hidden dangers.
Patience is key—sometimes waiting for the perfect moment is better than a rash charge.
Don't get frustrated when your troops act silly; improvise and adapt your plan.

Frequently Asked Questions

What makes Robbie's army different from a typical strategy game?

The noobs are intentionally clumsy and unpredictable, requiring you to adapt your tactics in real time. Their chaotic behavior is the core source of both challenge and comedy.

Are there different enemy types to face?

Yes, you'll encounter various enemy groups with different behaviors, from small, fast units to larger, more heavily armed ones. Each requires a unique approach to overcome.

Can I control a single noob or just the whole group?

While your main commands affect the whole army, you can sometimes select smaller groups to execute more precise maneuvers. This adds a layer of tactical depth to the chaos.

Is there any benefit to keeping my noobs alive?

Absolutely. Losing too many noobs can lead to defeat, so preserving your forces when possible is essential for progressing through the game.

What happens if my entire army gets wiped out?

You'll have to restart the battle. This is a good learning opportunity to try a different strategy, emphasizing smarter positioning and command over brute force.

Does the game get harder as I advance?

Yes, later stages introduce more complex terrain, trickier enemy tactics, and additional hazards, all while your noobs remain delightfully prone to error.